I LOVE EMILY YOUNG

Insomnia

I am getting really frustrated. Last night I was watching House before I went to bed. I was about half asleep and a wonderful idea dawned on me, it was the perfect expression of the song that has been trying to come out of my head for about 4 weeks now. But of course I fell asleep and now have no recollection of what I was thinking or even what triggered this episode of brilliance. So I don't know how to fix this so that these stupid ideas go places. But for now i guess i just have to blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.

CARDboard

I don't think anyone realizes how artistic and special everyday things are. Like i just stumbled onto this website called cardboardlove.com and it's really cute. It's kinda like post secret but not as good. I found this one and I thought of you....

I still love you...

Gr@duAti0N

I saw a post secret this morning and it was almost as if I wrote it. It makes me so sad that you are leaving high school in 2 and a half weeks. We went to the same elementary school and I liked you since fourth grade. They all told me i was crazy because he was in fifth grade and I wasn't allowed to like him. So I stopped telling all of of them. But then in fifth grade I saw you again. You were still really cute but I didn't tell anyone because I knew what they would all say. You went to middle school and I was too young to be heart broken but I knew I would miss you.

My middle school years went by in a flash. I was sure that you were gone forever. I stopped thinking about you and I had accepted the fact that this crush was lost in a sea of adolescent drama. But in high school I was re-united with your face and immediately remembered what they had told em in fourth grade. You are popular and now everyone envys who you have become. I still love you and I think you only know my name in passing as "that bitchy girl who no one likes".

It makes me really sad that all these years I was thinking about you and hoping that someday I would know you. But it never happened and now you are leaving. All these years I wanted so much to just tell you this sad story and about how much I wanted to talk to you. It's almost impossible at this point and I couldn't even tell you how much I will miss you. Please remember as more than just "that girl"......

A Crucial Decision

I was looking at your pictures on facebook and had a revelation. When your boyfriend cheated on you with my friend I felt really bad for you, and when you dumped him it made me really happy because he didn't want my friend anymore. Now that friend has left my circle to be a slut, so thank you so much for relieveing me of a horrible friend.
You got anyother boyfriend and you guys are really cute together and it makes me think about the day you found out that your boyfriend of 3 years cheated with a really ugly girl. But if i had not told who I told who told you....you might have still been with him. I would know that he was cheating on you everyday and you would just go on thinking that he was the faithful boyfriend you had always known. You're Welcome.
You both seem happy and I wonder where your new boyfriend would be if you were still dating this creep. You were both given a beautiful chance out of a horrible situation. It worked out great for the both of us and you don't even know my name. You have helped me more than you could ever know. Thanks

Captain's Log Star Date 32509

I had a beautiful idea yesterday. It had something to do with a song; and it had something to do with a note scheme. But no matter now; thanks to vicodin I cannot remember any of it. That could have been the one hit wonder to make me as famous as Mick Jagger. Apparently it won't be now so now my mind is trying to bend over backwards to remember any incling of anything from yesterday. At least I wrote down a word or two. It wont be such a bad place to re-start; although it wont be the ideal place to continue

What Brings Me the Most Joy...

Is the beauty in potential. I would much rather think about what I was going to do and think about what crazy storied I could tell people after i had done them then actually do it. Because things almost never turn out the way you want them to. Like take my surgery for example. I would much rather sit at home the day before and imagine myself on the phone talking to random friends #4 telling them how my face did not get large at all and it doesn't hurt and all of those types of wonderful things than have to go through all of it and have to realize that the picture that I had painted was actually much prettier than the one that became a reality. Like I am sitting at home reading, blogging, writing a song, and learning sign language. Sounds nice to you. But the reality of me telling you that is that I am doing all of these things but counting the minutes until I can take more pain meds.
You paint these wonderful pictures in your head about what you want events to turn out to be and then most of the time it doesn't turn out to be as nice. I will stick with the pictures if you don't mind. They are much less painful than what really happens to me; both emotionally and sometimes physically.