i know you are but what am i

My teeth are whiter than yours. My teeth aren't very white

I am skinnier than you. I am not that skinny

I am less vulgar than you. I can still be vulgar

I am more polite than you. I am not polite

I am smarter than you. I am not that smart

I wear more tasteful makeup than you do . I don't wear makeup

My smile isn't crooked like yours. My smile is garden variety

I am more proportionate than you. I am not all that evened out

I am less shallow than you. I am still a little shallow

I start my own trends. That someone started first.

I am nicer than you. I am not nice

I am less of a bitch than you. I am still a bitch

I am prettier than you. I am not pretty

All of these things add up but i think that I am like Stanley Yelnats, I am just in the wrong place at the wrong time. You landed a nice guy and can't keep your feelings inside. But what i don't think you realize is how much it upsets me to hear all of the wonderful things you say. So many flaws but he says he loves you just the way you are. You are full of yourself and think that just because he likes you, that everyone will adore you as he does. You are making me hate who you have become. Where is Shia LeBeaouf when i need him??