Captain's Log Star Date 32509

I had a beautiful idea yesterday. It had something to do with a song; and it had something to do with a note scheme. But no matter now; thanks to vicodin I cannot remember any of it. That could have been the one hit wonder to make me as famous as Mick Jagger. Apparently it won't be now so now my mind is trying to bend over backwards to remember any incling of anything from yesterday. At least I wrote down a word or two. It wont be such a bad place to re-start; although it wont be the ideal place to continue

What Brings Me the Most Joy...

Is the beauty in potential. I would much rather think about what I was going to do and think about what crazy storied I could tell people after i had done them then actually do it. Because things almost never turn out the way you want them to. Like take my surgery for example. I would much rather sit at home the day before and imagine myself on the phone talking to random friends #4 telling them how my face did not get large at all and it doesn't hurt and all of those types of wonderful things than have to go through all of it and have to realize that the picture that I had painted was actually much prettier than the one that became a reality. Like I am sitting at home reading, blogging, writing a song, and learning sign language. Sounds nice to you. But the reality of me telling you that is that I am doing all of these things but counting the minutes until I can take more pain meds.
You paint these wonderful pictures in your head about what you want events to turn out to be and then most of the time it doesn't turn out to be as nice. I will stick with the pictures if you don't mind. They are much less painful than what really happens to me; both emotionally and sometimes physically.

Chunky Monkey

So all in all the whole thing wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. But the after math is making me want to take a shotgun shell to the face.

I went into this office where no one smiles...ever. I sit down in this chair and the nurse proceeds to ask me how much weed I have smoked and how much cocaine I have snorted. I think she was my favorite. When I told her I had never done either she looked at me like my eyes were blood shot or something and she knew I was lying. Which, for once I wasn't.

Then some hispanic nusre comes in and tells me to lift up my shirt. Not really what I wanted to hear from a heavy-set woman whom I could barely understand. But she put three heart monitors on me and told me to relax. Then I had a blood pressure cuff that almost cut off my circulation once every two minutes. She then came at me with one of those nose tube things that you see unfortunate older people breathing into an oxygen tank with every once in a while when you go to the Acme. I told her no thanks but I dont think she understood me cause she just stuck it up my nose and around my head. Pssh whatever woman.

Once my IV was in my arm the doctor came in and asked how I was feeling. Well, now that you ask I feel great. I have never been attached to a machine that beeps frantically when i hold my breath and I kinda wanna throw up right now but I'm great. He tells me is going to wash his hands and then he would be back. Great idea! Let's wash our hands before we cut open this girls mouth. In a desperate attempt to lighten the mood a kept holding my breath to see how loud the machine would beep. Well nurse #1 who thought I was on drugs told me to stop in a very harsh tone. She was so nice to me in my time of need.

The doctor comes back and tells me he is putting meds into my IV to put me to sleep. All i recall as for the rest of this sad story was having the room spin and then go black. I woke up 37 minutes later when he was putting cotton in my mouth. He says nothing more to me and leaves. Nice guy, i would so much rather see him as a little kiddy dentist. I'm sure he would excell at that. But as I am waking up the nurse tells me this crazy story that i can't decide whether she made up or not. She told me that i kept calling the doctor Mufasa and i was asking him where Simba and Nala were because I wanted to see them very badly.

Weird. But Vicodin is my new best friend. Him and Ice. Definately the best thurdsday morning in my book