What Brings Me the Most Joy...

Is the beauty in potential. I would much rather think about what I was going to do and think about what crazy storied I could tell people after i had done them then actually do it. Because things almost never turn out the way you want them to. Like take my surgery for example. I would much rather sit at home the day before and imagine myself on the phone talking to random friends #4 telling them how my face did not get large at all and it doesn't hurt and all of those types of wonderful things than have to go through all of it and have to realize that the picture that I had painted was actually much prettier than the one that became a reality. Like I am sitting at home reading, blogging, writing a song, and learning sign language. Sounds nice to you. But the reality of me telling you that is that I am doing all of these things but counting the minutes until I can take more pain meds.
You paint these wonderful pictures in your head about what you want events to turn out to be and then most of the time it doesn't turn out to be as nice. I will stick with the pictures if you don't mind. They are much less painful than what really happens to me; both emotionally and sometimes physically.