Chunky Monkey

So all in all the whole thing wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. But the after math is making me want to take a shotgun shell to the face.

I went into this office where no one smiles...ever. I sit down in this chair and the nurse proceeds to ask me how much weed I have smoked and how much cocaine I have snorted. I think she was my favorite. When I told her I had never done either she looked at me like my eyes were blood shot or something and she knew I was lying. Which, for once I wasn't.

Then some hispanic nusre comes in and tells me to lift up my shirt. Not really what I wanted to hear from a heavy-set woman whom I could barely understand. But she put three heart monitors on me and told me to relax. Then I had a blood pressure cuff that almost cut off my circulation once every two minutes. She then came at me with one of those nose tube things that you see unfortunate older people breathing into an oxygen tank with every once in a while when you go to the Acme. I told her no thanks but I dont think she understood me cause she just stuck it up my nose and around my head. Pssh whatever woman.

Once my IV was in my arm the doctor came in and asked how I was feeling. Well, now that you ask I feel great. I have never been attached to a machine that beeps frantically when i hold my breath and I kinda wanna throw up right now but I'm great. He tells me is going to wash his hands and then he would be back. Great idea! Let's wash our hands before we cut open this girls mouth. In a desperate attempt to lighten the mood a kept holding my breath to see how loud the machine would beep. Well nurse #1 who thought I was on drugs told me to stop in a very harsh tone. She was so nice to me in my time of need.

The doctor comes back and tells me he is putting meds into my IV to put me to sleep. All i recall as for the rest of this sad story was having the room spin and then go black. I woke up 37 minutes later when he was putting cotton in my mouth. He says nothing more to me and leaves. Nice guy, i would so much rather see him as a little kiddy dentist. I'm sure he would excell at that. But as I am waking up the nurse tells me this crazy story that i can't decide whether she made up or not. She told me that i kept calling the doctor Mufasa and i was asking him where Simba and Nala were because I wanted to see them very badly.

Weird. But Vicodin is my new best friend. Him and Ice. Definately the best thurdsday morning in my book